Fear of loosing happiness. Because I thought she was the best. Happiest girl I ever know. My inner child. Just to show off the world that I knew the reality, I became a murderer. I killed the dreamer inside me. I lost her for the hands of my own. I still cry over what's lost and gone. Begging her to come back home knowing she'll never return, am I loosing the brand new me? As I ignore to accept this new SHE, the fear grows day by day with anxiety. Maybe she can't make me happy as before. She is bit cold. A little bit more selfish I might add. Fearing how the world will acknowledge her because she is mostly misunderstood. But she's stronger, wiser and bolder than I could ever imagine. Why can't I see her beauty instead? Trying to wear a mask to show others I'm still the old me. Who am I trying so hard to be? Anyone but me? What am I trying to prove? Everything but me? Even the whole world's expectations gathered around a fake me, all I want is very afew including myself to accept and love the real me.
-Niki-
